Taking time to figure out where you are!

I’ll try keep this brief, but who knows it could spill out into some deeper life affirming thing. Do you ever take the time to stop, think, explore and ponder your current state of play. Where you are, how you got there, why you are there, if you are happy, where you may still need to go and what drives this (threat or reward [or a bit of both]).

This activity came to me during a run yesterday. So rather than keep it in my head or on scribbles of paper, I thought I’d share it here as it may be of value to others. It’s a great warm up activity for those exploring life journeys (or in coaching conversations).

The set up

Before we start, grab a pen and a piece of A4 paper, place the paper landscape. At the top of the page write ‘why am I here’? leave space for an answer (but don’t answer it yet).

Below this now draw a line from top to bottom down the centre of the page. To the left (top) put the words ‘moving away’, and on the right (top) put the words ‘moving towards’. At the bottom of the page write ‘what’s my work on’? You are all set!

The Activity

It’s just 6 questions… take one at a time. Give each of them your immediate/instinctive responses. But also, pause, think deeply and add to this your secondary thoughts that appear (the ones you don’t always think of in the moment).

Question 1: why am I here?

This may be easiest to consider in the context of a job role. In one or two sentences at the top of your page set the reasoning for your current situation (life, love, work, relationships).

Question 2: what have I chosen to move away from?

To the left of the page list all the items of the past that you have chosen to distance yourself from. The things that a previous life (love, work etc) gave you that you didn’t want. The things that made life less fun.

Question 3: what am I moving towards?

To the right of the page, list all the things you are in search of. What are you heading towards, what are your desires for work, life, love, relationships etc. You may not have achieved them all as yet. Be honest and make this an authentic depiction of the ‘good life’ as you see it.

Question 4: what have I carried that I need to leave behind?

Now go back to the list on the left of the page and honestly look at this, identify (with a circle perhaps) the items you still carry with you that you need to find a way to shift (or better manage).

Question 5: what is ahead of me that I must step towards?

Now look again at the list to the right of the page and consider the relevance of these items, particularly the ones you have yet to achieve. Again mark with a circle the ones that need to be worked on.

Question 6: what one thing will I work on?

Now put the page down, step back a little, look away from the page. Close your eyes and give yourself 60 seconds to contemplate the future you are after. Now look back at your page, don’t over think it, pick just one item. Pick one item either to ‘move away’ from or ‘move towards’. Write this down at the bottom of the page…

If nothing else you now have a better context of where you are, how much further you may need to go and if you so desire what one thing you may work on now to help get there.

The Bonus Question (you don’t have to answer this)

Question 7: which is a stronger driver for you, ‘moving away’ from or ‘moving towards’?

People often have a leaning towards – either ‘escaping’ the pain, often seen as a sensitivity to threat or have a leaning towards pleasure, seen as a sensitivity to reward. Neither are good or bad in principle, a balanced manner of operating is good. Being sensitive to threat will keep you alive. Being sensitive to reward will bring more joy.

Key Questions to Ask Yourself

1. What motivates me more: avoiding failure or achieving success?
2. Do I spend more time thinking about potential problems or potential opportunities?
3. When faced with a challenge, do I focus more on what could go wrong or on the benefits of overcoming it?
4. Am I more likely to take action to prevent negative outcomes or to pursue positive ones?

By reflecting on these questions, you can gain a clearer understanding of what drives your behaviour. You can leverage this knowledge to make more informed decisions and achieve a balanced approach to life, work, love, relationships.

In closing

I guess one question I have is…. Why did I think of this yesterday? Why am I here, what have I moved away from, what am I moving towards, have I arrived, what is still with me that I should leave behind and what is still ahead of me that I must step towards. What one item will I work on!!!

Executive coaching is a good thing, its such a growth opportunity and thats why I love it – get it touch should you wish to exolore these tools or just fancy a chat – click the link or e mail kurt@bemorelnd.co.uk.