Designing with not for you
I heard this phrase yesterday:
“If you’re waiting for someone to design something for you, it’s not likely to be for you.”
I found this fascinating to contemplate, the idea that we may be waiting for something to ‘be for us’, except that when it finally appears… it’s not quite ours. Why?
Up front, this blog has two key messages:
- Stop waiting for someone to create what you need, and
- Create with a co-creator or collaborator.
Your lived experience plus their expertise – that’s a win waiting to happen!
Whose Blueprint Are You Following?
If someone else builds the structure, they’ll shape it for their needs, not yours.
“If you move into someone else’s blueprint, you’ll always be adjusting the furniture, knocking down walls, and wondering why the space doesn’t fit.”
We often try to make pre-designed systems, frameworks or programmes work for us, but they were rarely made with our exact needs in mind. Real alignment comes when we create or better still, co-create from our own understanding of what’s missing, working with the right partner (someone who brings the expertise while you bring the lived experience).
Avoid total outsourcing or buying ‘off the shelf’. It won’t ever quite fit, and you’ll forever be tinkering, reshaping, and adapting trying to retrofit someone else’s idea of what’s right.
Creating with a collaborator, shaping the design together. You bring the insight; they bring the craft. You hold the story; they hold the tools to tell it well. The magic happens in the space between your lived experience and their expertise.
The Right Time Never Arrives
Observation alone is just waiting and lost time. Observation with thinking and learning is about recognising and picking the right time. Don’t just wait for the moment to arrive; listen and observe intently, then decide to act, knowing it will never be the perfect moment.
“We often wait for the right tool, the right moment, or the right person to give us permission. But time without planned action is just daydreaming.”
Learning, innovation, leadership, and growth are all plagued by the same hesitation, waiting for conditions to ‘feel right’. The truth is, the conditions become right because you begin. The act of starting changes the landscape.
When you start, others notice. They see energy, intent, direction. They begin to gather around your idea, often offering perspectives, skills, or resources you didn’t have at the start.
Need Is a Creative Signal
Neediness is a type of insight. It’s your internal signal that something must change, how we work, who we work with, what tools or systems we use. It’s important to listen to that signal. Call it intuition, instinct, or drive it’s the voice that tells you where to pay attention. If you stop listening, it will stop talking.
“That feeling of frustration that something doesn’t exist yet isn’t a problem to endure, it’s an invitation to make.”
Entrepreneurs, educators, and change-makers start by noticing what isn’t there and deciding to build it. Not waiting, deciding. And yes, their first, second, and sometimes third version might not be quite right, but each iteration brings them closer. Each collaboration strengthens the design.
When you work with the right co-creator, they don’t build for you they build with you. They help you shape, test, and refine your ideas. Your lived experience anchors the design in reality; their expertise ensures it works in practice. Together, you create something neither of you could have made alone.
Nobody Else Can Design What Only You Understand
This is about your unique appreciation of the situation. Only you know what’s happening, what you’ve noticed, experienced, and learned along the way.
“You might be waiting for the perfect course, tool, or programme, but nobody else has lived your challenges. That means you’re uniquely positioned to build the thing that works for you (and for people like you).”
Your lived context gives you insights no one else has. But that doesn’t mean doing it alone. Co-creation is powerful precisely because it blends your real-world understanding with someone else’s technical or creative skill.
Invite them in. Share your story. Be open to challenge, to what you may have missed or misread. The right collaborator won’t take over; they’ll help you see more clearly, connect ideas, and build something more robust than either of you could design solo.
Design Starts with Curiosity
And you don’t have to start from scratch. You don’t have to build from a blank sheet. It may be that something already exists that sparks your interest but isn’t quite there yet.
“You don’t need to be a designer, strategist, or innovator to make something better. You just need to care enough to tinker with what exists.”
Iteration, experimentation, and learning by doing, that’s where growth lives. Every tweak, every adjustment, every collaboration moves you forward. The goal isn’t perfection; it’s progress.
Close
So, What Are You Waiting For? Why are you waiting for what only you can create? You already have what you need to begin: your lived experience, your curiosity, and your willingness to act.
Maybe the question isn’t what you’re waiting for, it’s who. Find the right collaborator, share what you’ve seen, and start shaping the thing that doesn’t yet exist. Because if you’re waiting for someone else to design it, it’s not likely to be for you.
If you fancy chatting about any of this, give me shout at kurt@bemorelnd.co.uk or via the contacts link.